Boundaries are fundamental. I’ve lived my whole life believing that people love the way that I do. There’s no question as to how I’m going to receive affection, friendship and love because it can only be reciprocated the way it was given. Isn’t that obvious? One could only wish. You can imagine the amount of times I’ve been blindsided and ultimately, hurt because of my way of thinking.
We all have hearts that have been molded by upbringings, teachings, and experiences. We all go through a personal development that’s unique to every individual. There can be similarities, but my way of loving can’t be compared to someone else’s. If my expectations of others are being measured by my own criteria, they’re going to fall short every time.
That’s not an excuse for selfish, negative, or toxic behavior, but it’s a good reminder that I’m trying to put them on a pedestal that wasn’t theirs to begin with. It can’t be. It isn’t fair to them and more likely than not, it’ll cause deeper issues you won’t be able to avoid. It’s important to be aware of how other people love and not just the way you do.
A lack of boundaries invites a lack of respect.Angela roby
By doing so, you’ll be able to create healthy boundaries to avoid unnecessary confrontations and essentially, getting hurt in the future. It causes you to lower your expectations, or at least, develop the right ones for each person you truly start to let in. The amount of heartache and frustration you steer clear of in doing so is unbelievable.
You’re given the ability to decipher who just loves distinctively and who’s taking you for granted. You must know the difference. It makes the process of accepting (and possibly forgiving) easier to navigate when deeper rooted emotions are involved. Once you figure out a person’s intentions, your boundaries are put in place to protect you and your heart. And you have every right to enforce them.
Start drawing those lines
I remember holding on to all the pain and anger that came with loving so freely without drawing those lines no one should cross. I loved freely without taking into account that some will use their own method to give back and others will only take. If that’s something you could handle, I tip off my hat to you.
I, on the other hand, designed my boundaries to stay true to my essence yet also respecting my genuineness by protecting the heart it surrounds. If you want the freedom to love and give without fearing you’re receiving nothing in return, start drawing those lines.