I have always been an anxious person. It is often disguised as perfectionism. My anxiety was and still is mostly social and situational. I often cope by avoiding. Avoiding social situations, people, situations where I could get physically lost or feel uncomfortable.
I guess you could say I have a lot of fear of the unknown. I have learned that all of this fear and anxiety is definitely in my head because as soon as I take a chance and step out of my comfort zone, I ultimately feel 100 times better and far more confident.
I am very fortunate to have an amazingly kind and patient husband (who is equally as anxious of a person as I am). It has been helpful to both of us, at times, since we can truly understand how the other person feels. However, his anxiety is much different than mine, so in a very strange way, we balance each other well.
This summer I became a first time mum. Becoming a parent is one of the most exciting and rewarding experiences yet! But … with new experiences comes fear.
Fear of making poor decisions, fear of not knowing if you’re “doing it right” and having strong feelings of wanting to protect your baby from any potential danger. My anxiety has now shifted its focus to our daughter Kendall.
I never want her to feel any pain – this may just be a typical “new Mom” thing but sometimes the thoughts are consuming. I know with time (like most things I obsess over) I will relax a bit, but until then I cope by ensuring I am doing everything I can to protect her … and I pray for her daily. Ultimately, I really don’t want to be a helicopter parent and project my anxiety onto her.
For anyone dealing with anxiety, it is worth your time and energy to seek help, talk to someone who understands your concerns and know that the “what if” statements shouldn’t rule your thoughts.
I know it’s easy for me to say this because practicing it is an entirely different thing. My mum always told me to “fake it ‘til you make it!” and to give your worries to God – that advice has helped me to this day!
Rachael
