Until a few years ago, I was convinced that I was going to be successful, no matter what I did. I felt like it was just meant to happen, because everything so far had been so easy. I have never had real struggles to be honest, which I am thankful for.
Last year, I spent three months traveling by myself. It was not a “once in a lifetime trip” for me, I did not expect it to be one. But still, I had a lot of time to think and I realized that this stupid ego I had was never going to take me anywhere.
Because when you think everything will work out, you don’t actually do anything for it to happen. I lost lots of confidence but gained some “real one”, knowing that I am nobody and that’s okay.
When I came back, I started university with that in mind. I hate what I’m doing, I feel really distant from all of my friends and family. (I moved to another city which is actually not far but I still get this feeling) and I am bored.
But somehow, that’s positive, because it gives me a sense of what you get if you take the easiest path. (For me, it was University but it’s not the same for everybody, of course).
So now, I am using all of my free time to make artistic projects and to figure out the smartest way (and not the easiest) to start working in fashion and to be good at it.
I am aware these are not the biggest problems one can have but I am probably not the only one struggling with ego and confidence out there, or having doubts about why I am studying something that does not seem to fit me.
Jaya
