“You reap what you sow.” We’ve probably heard this saying a lot. Most of us try to do good so we can receive good in return. And if you do the opposite, well you know the answer. But sometimes we question this theory because then we’re hit with the, “bad things can happen to good people.” It makes you wonder what the best method is to avoid those situations.

Instead of looking at it as, “I can’t do anything right. Nothing works in my favor. Clearly I’m not meant to be happy,” look at it as an opportunity to grow. I’ll explain why. I want to share a piece of myself that isn’t my favorite because it, not only makes me feel embarrassed, but it makes me feel weak. However, there’s a lesson I want to share with all of you that I learned. So here it goes.

Last year, I had written a post about friendships. I talked about how I take my friendships almost as serious as I do my relationships. I’m that friend that will take your call in the middle of the dance floor at the club so you can vent out about whatever’s bothering you. (Obviously I’d probably take the call outside so I can hear you, but that’s beside the point.) If there’s one thing I’d desperately want a friend of mine to know about me, is that I’ll be there for them no matter what because I know what it’s like to not have anyone care enough to listen.

I’m a pretty sensitive girl so that makes me very empathetic to others situations and to everyone around me… but it also makes me vulnerable to those who have the ability to hurt me, intentionally or unintentionally. The only thing I ever ask of people, (or what I used to expect from people) is to give me what I would hope I give them in return; Loyalty and Honesty.

I found out real quick that you can’t expect anything from anybody and there are very few people in this world that share the same kind of feelings that you do. But even though I made that discovery very early on in my life, I still put myself in positions where people could still hurt me because I was so desperate for that kind of love and acceptance that I did my best to pour out. I figured if I showed them what kind of friendship I wanted, they would see it the same way. They would see me as someone worthy enough for that.

But year after year, even having moved to different areas, I would still deal with the same shit over again and for the life of me, I couldn’t figure out why. So what did I do? I thought I wasn’t good enough. There was something wrong with me because there’s no way someone could convince me that I’m going through the same situation with different people and it not have anything to do with who I am as a person.

Keep expecting and believing that your due season is coming. Declare that the good you have harvested in your life will manifest.

Germany Kent

I’ve been isolated, treated as indifferent, been taken advantage of, and it was because I wasn’t good enough. At least, that’s what my mind tried to get me to believe. But after years of suffering over people that really weren’t worth it, I realized, maybe the issue really was me… but not in the negative way I always thought. That was the moment I decided I need to change because this is something that won’t benefit me in the future.

I’m still the same loving and caring woman I was back then… but I don’t put my heart on the line or my expectations too high anymore. I’ll still take your call at 2 am and stay up with you until you’re all cried out, but if you decide to never speak to me again the next day, you’ll just become a faded memory.

Growth is a necessity but that doesn’t mean you have to change the essence of who you are.

With that being said, I’ve learned to appreciate the people who have made their way into my life, even if it’s just for a moment, and have made me feel like all those years of hurt were worth it. Because there will be people who come into your life and realize just how worthy and deserving you really are… and those are the people you hold closest to your heart.

You do reap what you sow, even when it may not seem like it. Growth is a necessity but that doesn’t mean you have to change the essence of who you are. My heart will still be filled with enough love to go around but it won’t question it’s worth ever again. Don’t ever question yours and watch the blessings that will come your way.