That sweet little girl lost her innocence at the age of 16’ – said every single person in her life.
She had to witness her mother violently ill to the point where she was scared of seeing the sight of vomit. That sweet little girl lost her mother at 11 to Septicemia. She was emotionally neglected by all those around her, and as a result had to mature quicker than the average child.
At 16, she lost herself. She refused to be invisible. She cried out for help through acts of rebellion and did anything in her power to get attention. She felt like a part of her was lost, until she met this guy at the age of 18.
Someone who filled that void almost, who made her feel powerful. Someone she could talk to day and night, but what she wasn’t taught was that she had to put herself first. That she shouldn’t lower her standards because of loneliness.
So then, as expected he left because she was grasping onto his heart so hard to the point where he couldn’t take it any more. She was now her own problem. This sweet little girl was no longer sweet, but broken and isolated to the point where she was sinking deeper and deeper into depression.
That sweet little girl was me.
I suffer from depression, anxiety and emetophobia, but my mental health problems do not define me. Emotional support is essential and should be given naturally by those around you because they care, not because it’s a chore.
Put yourself first because that’s what I did. I am in a relationship with myself where I am on a mission of self-discovery and I’ve realized I am no longer that sweet little girl who was ignored and walked all over, but a strong woman who fights through any obstacle that comes my way.
I love myself. I love my past because it molded me into the woman I am today. Remember, you are your only priority. YOU come first in everything ❤